I don’t normally post selfies on my blog. I save the occasional selfie for Facebook or Instagram. But as I’m facing some personal hurdles and pondering the path of my life’s mission, I found myself staring in the mirror… a lot more lately. Usually in my underwear (not the Victoria Secret’s kind, but the kind you wear under a t-shirt or workout gear).
This started about 2 1/2 years ago. I’m not sure if it was to boost my self-esteem or to self-scrutinize this body who’s main vocation and avocation have been teaching fitness for well over 20 years. But there I was looking in the mirror, staring at this body that has put in years of hard work, pain and sacrifice.
“For what?” I keep asking myself. “Was it worth it?” I wonder. If only you knew what I’ve given up just to look in the mirror and say, “not bad… but there’s still room for improvement.”
Fitness for me became an obsession and an addiction (it could’ve been worse, right?). It wasn’t always that way though. I used to play music (bass guitar), go to clubs to see great bands and hang out ’til sunrise with my friends. I never even intended to be a fitness professional for more than a couple of years as a side hustle and for the fun of it. My plan was to follow my degree in Media. You know how to make God laugh? Tell him your plans! I worked in video production and TV news and loved it. But the obsession with fitness won out (just like addictions often do). And for whatever deep-seeded reason, I need to be as fit as I could be.
I was born with some congenital defects like a bogus hip and spinal stenosis (which started in my 30’s), so being a highly-competitive or elite athlete was not in my cards. But I still had the mindset to push myself like one Often too hard. So after all these years, unintentionally changing careers, and giving in to my obsession, here I am…. with this body.
If you don’t follow me on Facebook or Insta, here’s a post I recently shared. I find it really interesting that whenever I divulge raw feelings, the “likes” go nuts.
THIS BODY:•Was born with congenital spinal stenosis•Has a titanium plate in its neck•Had 2 spine surgeries•Was born…